Welcome to my Playhouse.

I have been consumed by a tiny apartment in California. I eat, drink and sleep here. I need a chronicle. If I don't start one now, there will never be anything to see or touch - nothing tangible. My time will continue to slip and slide and - good god - it will be a year - ten years - later. Asking: HOW THE FUCK DID I GET HERE!? Time and space move forward and backwards and sideways. Each single individual is an axis point. We are all doomed to be trapped in this cycle: eat, drink, sleep, repeat.

And how do you break out of THAT? I sit in a cubicle 40 hours a week, starring at green and blue translucent walls. Data entry, data entry, data entry. How is that spreadsheet different from this discovery here?

How can that be just as therapeutic as this sentence right NOW?

No answers. Only questions. On and on and on.

The ocean is two blocks away, inching ever closer to washing us all away. Will California break from the continent? Will I see it happen from my patio? Watch the waves engulf everything I've come to know? And then SPLIT. BREAK. CHANGE.

Big, unsettling words for a Sunday in October. Where are the maple and oak trees? Why can I only find palms??

Where did the Midwest go!?

HOW DID I GET HERE?

And, if I'm constantly asking myself how I've reached this point, can I ever move forward from it?


Can we?


Shaky hands throwing rocks at brick walls. Crusted hands, caked in dirt, semen, blood and sweat. Constant migration. Where will we spend fall, winter, spring, summer? How do these seasons - or lack thereof - affect me - affect them? How am I so different from the beggar at the beach corner? Where does materialism stop and humanism begin? Why do I want THINGS?

See what I mean, constant badgering questions running around my brain. Clawing at the walls. GET ON OUT HERE MAN!

Come seek your answers. Escape is imminent. And, everything could come crashing down all at once.

On a more realistic note, living in Los Angeles proper could either result in my execution or complete self-realization. Here's your ticket, enjoy the ride.